A Pharaoh’s Sin

I think that among the worst feelings in life – a group of feelings that includes that immediate reaction when you think you’ve got your hand stuck in something. That sense of utter panic and onset of sweat. Think about it, it’s so true! – is that kick in the gut when you make a decision and then in an instant regret it. That sudden epiphany of impact of what you have just done. New information that apparently you didn’t know the second before you decided. It’s almost as if you had a flawed perspective on the realities of what you were stepping into but now you’re there, oh how different that perspective is. Suddenly you realise what you had before and now all you want to do is somehow get back onto the ledge you just left.

I remember during my A-levels someone in my class asked to ‘look’ at my Psychology coursework. Well actually, first he offered to pay me £50 to copy it. I declined the offer but said I’d happily let him borrow it for a while to get ideas. It seemed a nice thing to do, help out a coursemate. But the second I’d handed it over, suddenly I realised, ‘what kind of guy asked to buy someone else’s coursework?’ Is it the kind of guy who will keep his word when I asked him not to copy it but simply use it for ideas? I decided no. Suddenly it kicked in. What if he copied it and someone noticed? We would both be disqualified. Immediately I regretted my decision.

But while this was a bad decision that gave me this ‘epiphany of impact’ kick in the head, does it always happen with bad decisions? I don’t think so.

There’s this episode of Friends – if you don’t know what Friends is then a) where have you been for the last decade, and b) it can be found like the Psalms in the Bible. That is, when you’re a kid, in order to find the Psalms people say ‘just open your Bible in the middle and chances are you’ll find the Psalms’. With Friends it’s more like ‘turn on your TV to E4 and chances are you’ll find Friends’! True story. Anyways, so this episode of Friends is where Phoebe and her fiancé Mike decide they want to donate their wedding money to a children’s charity. So they wander along to the charity centre and present their generous donation to the staff. However as soon as they hand it over, the epiphany of impact hits home and now the abstract idea of their low key wedding, something that they had felt would be worth it in order to give to children who have so much less than them, gains colour and clarity and ‘Oops’. So they head back and embarrassingly ask for it back. The story goes on and after another change of mind, followed by another change of mind, they decide to keep the money. But while this was not necessarily a black and white decision to them, it certainly wouldn’t have been a clear mistake to give the money away. In fact giving that money to the children’s charity would’ve been a hugely sacrificial and life changing act, something we’d all agree is what God wants and the world needs (two things that people tend to forget are inextricably tied). Yet they still feel the epiphany of impact and it makes them waver and ultimately give in.

As I was sitting on the train station the other day, my mind drifted off to another occasion when this happened, an occasion involving much more than money and an engaged couple. This time it involved a world leader and the future of a whole people.

Now it was told the king of Egypt that the people had fled, and the heart of Pharaoh and his servants was turned against the people; and they said, "Why have we done this, that we have let Israel go from serving us”? – Exodus 14.5

It a story most of us probably know about. Moses calls God to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites out of captivity. Pharaoh says no. God makes it clear to Pharaoh that he is serious and send a series of plagues upon Egypt. Despite this message Pharaoh insists on keeping the Israelites in slavery and even increases the harshness of their working conditions. Finally Pharaoh lets them go to rid Egypt of God’s wrath (notably only when God’s wrath is turned powerfully on his own family. He could cope with the devastation across Egypt up to that point), but as soon as he shouts ‘Go!’ and allows them to leave, the epiphany of impact kicks in.

‘Who is going to build our city?’ ‘Who is going to serve us food in our courts?’ ‘Surely we Egyptians don’t want to do such hard and difficult tasks?’

Pharaoh realises the implications of his decision, a right decision, on the life of Egypt. Egyptian culture had been built on this free labour, being able to increase the workload on the Israelite slaves when the need arose. A new house? Get the slaves. More food? Get the slaves. Not getting enough done? Make the slaves work harder. The hard work for the Pharaoh, now that the Israelites were gone, suddenly became too large to bear. He did not want to do the hard work to support his decision, despite him realising at the time was the required decision to make.

Pharaoh had responded to God’s clear message when the imperative was felt, but after the relief had come, suddenly he fell back.

I think this is a classic symptom for our behaviour towards God even today. Putting aside the debate as to whether God was orchestrating the heart of Pharaoh (although surely God can’t punish someone for makes choices He was solely forcing him to make?), Pharaoh heard the call of God, responded positively, but then fell back immediately.

I’ve heard many a sermon and read many a scripture that hit me in the gut with than inaudible clang of ‘oh, that means me. I need to change’. In those times I often make a heartfelt and genuine response to God to say ‘yes I will stop saying that’, or ‘yes I will make sure I go and apologise to him’, or even ‘Lord I repent of doing that, I will make sure I work hard to obeying you better in future’. Yet after the music fades or the Bible is closed, that imperative is gone and the epiphany of impact kicks in. ‘Oh but if I stop that then how will I cope with hard times’, or ‘It’s going to be hard to resist the temptation to do it again, did God really convict me?’ Inevitably we tend to either assume that actually we’re ok, or just as bad, simply forget about the sense of conviction and maintain our behaviour, guilt free.

I know there are things in my life that I am both convicted to stop on a regular basis, and things I am convicted to start doing. Sometimes it’s a joyful passion where I have a strong sense of ‘yes, I’d love to give John’s gospel to that person and I know God wants me to’ but then I get to work and see the person and get scared of what they might think. The epiphany of impact.

So how to overcome it? Two things spring to mind. One, be ready. Know that whether it be a impassioning or convicting call, you will feel the impact and be tempted to fall back. Write it down, tell someone to keep you accountable. And don’t wait to do these things till the epiphany has fully kicked in. Do it under the energy of the conviction. This way the call remains clear and pure. And if what you felt convicted off was totally off-beat with God, then the person will inform you of that! (my all-time favourite of this is ‘I feel God wants me to do a year of singleness’ ‘oh why a year? Why not just a period of time where you can work through what you need to, but can still be open to what God might have for you’ ‘Oh yeh, good point, well made’).

Second, make a plan! I think planning is the one of the least trumpeted Godly trait. A lot of Christians will feel the call of God to act and then just jump in with little thought of planning. But look at King David. He knew God wanted Israel to build a new temple, but that it was a task that would be given to his son Solomon. So what did David do? He planned. He compiled resources. He hired workers. He found the best materials and plans so that the call of God would be wonderfully fulfilled. And Nehemiah. He was a reputable member of the court of the Babylon king when he felt God call him to rebuilt the city of Jerusalem. Did he run off and start immediately? No, he asked his king for resources, and then he carefully set up a plan to rebuild the wall. He appropriated out the work to the people available. Each man and woman had his or her task. In the end they built the whole wall in just 53 days. I find it unlikely such a task would have been done as well or as quickly without planning and organisation.

So plan! If you want to read your Bible more, don’t plan to read the whole thing in a week! If you want to stop behaving in a certain way, tell someone to keep you accountable, to ask each week how you are doing. Talk about what’s holding you back, plan how to overcome it.

So the Pharaoh’s sin. God’s message to him. Pharaoh’s decision. The epiphany of impact. Let us not fall into the same trap.